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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Robert Bloch When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. …

I doubt the person who used it once is alive. 12 My mother never saw the irony of calling me a Son-of-a-bitch. 13 A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they are interested in fashion - …

1. “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.” —Socrates · 2. “If you want ...

12.1.2021 · 1. “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’em later." —Mitch Hedberg 2. “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. …

All men are equal before fish. Herbert Hoover. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. Isaac Asimov.

1. "Life is short. · 2. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it." · 3. "I always cook with wine. · 4. "People say ...

21.10.2021 · More funny quotes about marriage 5. “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” — Phyllis Diller 6. “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give …

2.7.2013 · You won’t believe some of the dumb quotes said by famous people, mainly celebrities… Here are 15 of the dumbest. In today’s world of instant celebrity and reality TV, …

Pin by Gramms Candy on makes me laugh | Funny day quotes, Fun quotes funny. Pin by Nanda Leitao on Humor | Sarcastic quotes funny, Funny cartoon quotes, ...

Between the savage insults and hilarious insights, this collection of the funniest quotes of all time will leave you laughing.

Top 100 Funny Quotes of All-Time · Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. · When I die, I ...

Top 10 Funny Quotes - with quotes by Mark Twain, Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln ... Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

31.7.2017 · When they go away, it’s a brighter day.”. — Unknown. “Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.”. — Benjamin Franklin. “I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a …

Funny Quotes · 1. “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. · 2. “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. · 3. “My mother always used to say: The older ...

Top 100 Funny Quotes of All-Time. sort. display. ... They help to lighten the mood, they're excellent for breaking the ice, and of co... Funny quotes are great for bringing a bit of humor …

1. Every day is a leg day when you are running away from your problems. – Priyanshu Singh 2. “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was …

7.1.2022 · All bottled up. “We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you …

28.9.2017 · You’ll discover quotes by Bill Murray, Tina Fey, Jim Carrey, and more. Enjoy! I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. …