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Laugh through our list of the funniest quotes, complete with hilarious sayings, witticisms, quips, and pithy replies for every occasion. …

WebFunny Quotes Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey Inspirational, Life, Karma 2338 Copy …

1. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it." · 2. "Life is short. · 3. "I always cook with wine. · 4. "People say ...

1. “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. · 2. “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. · 3. “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the ...

1. “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.” —Socrates · 2. “If you want ...

Jan 12, 2023 · 1. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it." ―Mindy Kaling 2. "Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos." —Stanley Hudson, The...

WebTop 100 Funny Quotes of All-Time display Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Robert Bloch When I die, I want to go peacefully like my …

Explore 1000 Funny Quotes by authors including Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain, and Groucho Marx at BrainyQuote.

The people are fucked.” ... “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” ― Phyllis Diller. tags: anger, funny, sleep · 8261 likes.

Oct 21, 2021 · Funny quotes about marriage 1. “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates 2. “If you want to be sure that you...

Here are 100 of the best funny quotes I could find. The goal? To make you relax, laugh, and have a good time! 😂 Life is short and …

Oct 6, 2022 · The Best Funny Quotes Go to table of contents I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Steven Wright I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people. Mitch Hedberg It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I’m not sure how I got there. Steven Wright

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.” — Mark Twain · “Today's goals: Coffee and kindness. · “Trying is the first step ...

Jul 29, 2021 · “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. Milne “I like to think of myself less like ‘an adult’ and more like a ‘former fetus.’” – Anna Kendrick “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin “Every day in high school, ...

7. "Fine, get cellulite. I don't care." — Weird Barbie. Of Weird Barbie's (Kate McKinnon) many iconic lines in the film, this specific one broke me. While Barbie's …

In the words of Tom Wilson: “A smile is a facelift that’s in everyone’s price range!”. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases …

Really Funny Quotes “This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.” Oscar Wilde “Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.” Steven Wright “A lie gets halfway around the world before …

WebFunny Quotes Quotes tagged as "funny" Showing 1-30 of 9,707 “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest …

Top Funny Quotes · “I never feel more alone than when I'm trying to put sunscreen on my back.” · “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability ...

HARD. Here are funny, sarcastic quotes and memes bound to brighten even the TOUGHEST work day. More.