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WebTop 100 Funny Quotes of All-Time display Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Robert Bloch When I die, I want to go peacefully like my …

Oct 21, 2021 · Funny quotes about marriage 1. “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates 2. “If you want to be sure that you...

WebFunny Quotes Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey Inspirational, Life, Karma 2338 Copy …

The people are fucked.” ... “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” ― Phyllis Diller. tags: anger, funny, sleep · 8261 likes.

HARD. Here are funny, sarcastic quotes and memes bound to brighten even the TOUGHEST work day. More.

Laugh through our list of the funniest quotes, complete with hilarious sayings, witticisms, quips, and pithy replies for every occasion. …

Here are 100 of the best funny quotes I could find. The goal? To make you relax, laugh, and have a good time! 😂 Life is short and …

Jan 12, 2023 · 1. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it." ―Mindy Kaling 2. "Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos." —Stanley Hudson, The...

1. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it." · 2. "Life is short. · 3. "I always cook with wine. · 4. "People say ...

7. "Fine, get cellulite. I don't care." — Weird Barbie. Of Weird Barbie's (Kate McKinnon) many iconic lines in the film, this specific one broke me. While Barbie's …

Explore 1000 Funny Quotes by authors including Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain, and Groucho Marx at BrainyQuote.

Oct 6, 2022 · The Best Funny Quotes Go to table of contents I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Steven Wright I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people. Mitch Hedberg It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I’m not sure how I got there. Steven Wright

1. “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. · 2. “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. · 3. “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the ...

Top Funny Quotes · “I never feel more alone than when I'm trying to put sunscreen on my back.” · “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability ...

In the words of Tom Wilson: “A smile is a facelift that’s in everyone’s price range!”. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases …

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.” — Mark Twain · “Today's goals: Coffee and kindness. · “Trying is the first step ...

Really Funny Quotes “This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.” Oscar Wilde “Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.” Steven Wright “A lie gets halfway around the world before …

1. “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.” —Socrates · 2. “If you want ...

Jul 29, 2021 · “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. Milne “I like to think of myself less like ‘an adult’ and more like a ‘former fetus.’” – Anna Kendrick “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin “Every day in high school, ...

WebFunny Quotes Quotes tagged as "funny" Showing 1-30 of 9,707 “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest …