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Funny Quotes About Life · “I know I'm a handful but that's why you got two hands.” – Unknown · “Failure is the condiment that gives success its ...

1. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it." · 2. "Life is short. · 3. "I always cook with wine. · 4. "People say ...

1. “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.” —Socrates · 2. “If you want ...

Oct 6, 2022 · The Best Funny Quotes Go to table of contents I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Steven Wright I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people. Mitch Hedberg It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I’m not sure how I got there. Steven Wright

Short Funny Quotes And Humorous Lines. Go to table of contents. One-liners, short funny quotes, sayings, thoughts, and captions for …

Funny Quotes 1. “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’em later." —Mitch Hedberg …

Funny Quotes from Comedians. Nobody provides laughs like comedians. After all, they do it for a living! These funny quotes are some of the best we could find from hilarious actors and comics alike. The average dog is …

Explore 1000 Funny Quotes by authors including Abraham Lincoln, Groucho Marx, and Mark Twain at BrainyQuote.

“I know I’m a handful but that’s why you got two hands.” – Unknown “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” – Truman Capote “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese “Taking naps …

Nov 19, 2017 - Need some snappy quotes that injects humor into any social occasion? Check out these 30 Snappy Funny Quotes and use put them to use!

Dec 5, 2022 · We’ve got you covered with a huge list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. Laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. In the words of Tom Wilson: “A smile is a facelift that’s in everyone’s price range!”. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. So enjoy these 300 funny quotes, sayings, and observations and get laughing today.

Short Funny Quotes 1. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. 2. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. 3. If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? 4. If …

Like. “The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”. ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey. tags: aliteracy , books , classic , humor. 50338 likes. Like. “Outside of a dog, a book …

Access 100 of the funniest quotes TODAY! Discover great lines from Jim Carrey, Tina Fey, Bill Murray that will make you laugh out loud!

Funny Quotes - BrainyQuote I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. Groucho Marx Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. Abraham Lincoln I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Jul 29, 2021 · Funny Quotes For Yearbook. As school comes to an end and it’s time for summer, funny yearbook quotes are a great way to let loose and poke fun at your memories. These humorous school quotes would be especially great for graduations with photos throughout the years. Looking back on your photos with these hilarious quotes will make you smile as the years go on.

Funny Quotes Quotes tagged as "funny" Showing 1-30 of 9,257 “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the …

Funny Quotes Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey Inspirational, Life, Karma 2290 Copy quote …

1. “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. · 2. “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. · 3. “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the ...

“Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.” ... “Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to ...

Funny quotes about enemies 31. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”— Oscar Wilde 32. “ The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably...

Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard. Joe Rogan I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. Will Rogers …

Funny Quotes · “If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. · “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” ~ ...